Why You Should Reconsider Your Friends Every 6 Years
Be honest with yourself…are your friends helping or hurting your overall success in life?
Do they motivate and hold you accountable? Or do they laugh and throw shade when you are trying to make a life change? Whether you want to 20 pounds, start a business or change careers — are these people supportive?
Are you hanging out with the same group of people year after year or are you actively trying to meet new people?
Every 5–6 years I seem to cut a lot of friends from my life.
It usually isn’t intentional, although sometimes it is, but I never knew why until I started investing in myself over the past year. It seemed like every book, podcast, or seminar said the same thing — surround yourself with people who support, motivate, challenge and encourage you.
Finally I realized that you should evaluate your friends to make sure you are constantly surrounding yourself with winners.
Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck with where we are in life. One of the reasons we feel stuck is because we aren’t growing.
“The secret to real happiness is progress. Progress equals happiness. And if we can make progress we feel alive inside.” — Tony Robbins
The problem, often times is that we get stuck in routines that don’t promote growth and development. People become “set in their ways” as they get older and are less likely to change.
That is bad for you because often times it’s the people that are closest to you that are secretly dragging you down. It could be the friend who just can’t seem to get it together, the coworker who always complains or the roommate who is always a bad influence.
Do you have friends in your life who you feel like are dragging you down? Ones that are negative, pessimistic or still doing the same thing for years?
If so, make it a point to start recognizing which friends help or hurt your dreams. In the most simple way, ask yourself, “Is this person helping or hurting my future?”
Sometimes it will be hard but often times you will see that a long time friend is going to need to change or slowly fade out of your life.
Why Does It Matter?
“You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you strong they are making you weaker.” — Tim Ferriss
This quote couldn’t be more true. As you get older you will see friends become very stagnant and lose the ambition they once had. Whether it’s settling down, having a family and being too busy or “trying to climb the ladder.” The majority of people get very comfortable with age.
They feel that they are in a situation where they should avoid risk and/or don’t think they can do it. They have a fixed mindset and a limiting belief that it’s too late to change or they should play it safe.
Don’t allow yourself to be surround by those people because their insecurities and lack of drive can rub off on you. Even if it’s unintentional, they might begin to project their own inner doubts and beliefs when you tell them about your new idea or project.
Be Ready To Accept New
After reading “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” I realized how important it is to create room in your life for what you want to invite in. What do I mean?
If you have a closet full of stuff you’re telling your brain everyday “I don’t need more clothes.” So it won’t focus on finding ways to get you new clothes.
If you are always hanging out with the same unambitious friends your brain won’t think you are looking for new people to surround yourself with.
You have to clear the old so you can welcome new into your life.
I’ve found that when I have stopped making an effort to talk to negative energy friends that I have welcomed new people in my life. Call it coincidence or “Law of Attraction” people have entered my life that I’ve been wanting to meet. People that share similar interests, are ambitious and on a path to achieve greatness.
Ditch Some Friends to Earn More Money
“Your network is your net worth.” — Jim Rohn
If you’re only making $50,000 a year and want to be at $200,000 do you think it would make sense to ask your friends how to earn more money? Or would it make sense to find people that are already making $200,000 and ask them what they are doing so you can replicate it?
Remember, success leaves clues!
If you can’t seem to find these new people in real life don’t forget that your network doesn’t have to be five real people. It can be made of up of podcasters, authors, self-development speakers, and others you want to be aligned with.
Listen to audiobooks, read their books, attend their seminars and their message will help you grow.
How to Do It
Spend some time and sit down to evaluate the 10 people you spend the most time with. Ask yourself how they are helping or hurting your life goals. It doesn’t matter if they have been a friend for 20 years or a coworker you see daily.
The more honest you are, the more you will begin to see who is helping and hurting your dreams. Start spending more time with the positive, uplifting friends and less time with others. Only after some time will you begin to notice what happens. They might reach out or they might not — this is usually a good clue.
Your time is precious. Don’t spend one second with someone who thinks you are too ambitious, motivated or driven. The world is filled with people who want what you want. It’s up to you to seek them out and attract them into your life.
Just because you have been hanging with the same person or group for 10 years doesn’t mean you have to forever. You will undoubtedly get some hate but don’t let it phase you.
Stay strong, know what you’re trying to achieve, and surround yourself with people who will help you get there.
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